What if you’re an ugg-wearing, hair-straightening, abercrombie-shopping, red meat-eating preppy white girl? Kinsmen to be found at Bennington? Anywhere?

What if you're an ugg-wearing, hair-straightening, abercrombie-shopping, red meat-eating preppy white girl? Kinsmen to be found at Bennington? Anywhere? — Asked by Anonymous

Dear UWHSASRMEPWG,

Aside from your Ugg habit (which will be functionally problematic during mud season), none of these addictions are too terribly incriminating. Let’s tackle some Bennington stereotypes!

Q: DO BENNINGTON STUDENTS WASH THEIR HAIR!?!?

A: By and large, yes! There is a relatively small number of students on campus who refrain from regular bathing and hair care for “environmental” reasons, but at least they have some conviction. I have a computer science friend at UPenn who refrains from bathing simply because he’s a stereotypically gross computer science major. But yes, most Bennington students do bathe regularly. Clean is the new dirty for Bennington hippies- doing public action demands a tidy appearance!

Q: DO BENNINGTON KIDS ONLY SHOP AT EDGY THRIFT STORES!@?!?

A: There is a modicum of truth in this one- probably 99.9999999% of Bennington students have shopped at the Goodwill at least once (I got a sweet red leather jacket there for $7 once), and many shop there with some frequency. It’s good stuff for real cheap! But there is a fantastic array of fashion on display at Bennington on any given day, from boat shoe wearing preps to grungy punks and everything in between. I like Banana Republic. Evan likes H&M. Jan is sexy (and he knows it) and so doesn’t pay much mind to where he shops.

Q: IS EVERYONE AT BENNINGTON A RAW VEGAN!?!????!?!1!!

A: Nope, we’re not.

So in conclusion, yes, you’re cool enough for Bennington. Don’t worry about it!

Sincerely,

A Cole Haan-wearing, hair gel-using, Banana Republic-shopping, McDonald’s-eating preppy white boy

(Mike)